Patrick Warburton’s Rules Of Hair Re-Engagement

Patrick Warburton. Handsome, debonair, deepest voice on the planet. You’re one of the greatest sitcom actors of our time. And I’m not joking. Seinfeld, Rules of Engagement, those other two shows.

You’ve got a gorgeous blonde wife and now you’ve got a full head of hair. Life is your acorn.

Patrick Warburton's hair is much thicker today, hair transplant?I’m writing you this post for a variety of reasons. Number one, I think your hair looks great. It didn’t look great a few years back. Neither did mine so don’t feel bad. By the way, I’m not wealthy enough to pony up for the image of your hair from years ago so if you’d like it shown on this site, please send me a check or some of your own personal photos (waist up preferably, but I’ll take what I can get).

Number two. I’m writing to make an observation, if you’ll allow me.

Your hair, on this site, looks like mine pre-transplant (my transplant). It laid on my head like a dead cat. I could comb it to the side or leave it flat on my forehead. We had what I call the white-man’s hair. Kind of thin, over-washed, didn’t do much, always looked like we were ready for the 9 to 5 grind.

Now your hair, also like mine, stands up like it’s time to party. Do you think my hair transplant surgeon screwed up? He told me it would eventually lay down and get softer. It has gotten softer but it has been about 7 years since my transplant. I’m not complaining. Personally, I wasn’t loving my old hair style. But I do want your opinion since your hair, as of late, stands at attention just like mine. We are like hair twins and your opinion matters to me. Can you imagine us as old guys sitting out on the deck in our rocking chairs with awesome matching grey hair? The ladies would come running.

Well Patrick Warburton, I bid you and your naughty hair adieu. By the way, with that deep voice, I bet you have some monster sized balls.

 

Photo Credit CarlaVanWagoner / Shutterstock


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