Hugh Laurie, you’re one of the finest doctors I’ve ever seen. The way you’re able to take a patient who presents with an infected toe, ask him if he’s ever been to China, and then send him to to the OR for an emergency C-section is astonishing. I’ve never seen such insight. And your enthusiasm for breaking into patient’s homes reminds me of me.
Don’t worry, I won’t break into your home. I’ve got all the evidence I need.
Your infected toe is your hair. But you don’t need a C-Section. You need a medal. Excellent cover-up work my friend.
For years The Society Of Follicularly Challenged Males have wondered about you (we have an entire thread dedicated to your hair – it’s called Hugh’s Doo’s). Deep questions have been asked and until today have gone unanswered.
“Why is his hair sometimes thick, sometimes thin, sometimes almost non-existence?”
Well, Hugh Laurie, I appreciate your willingness and ability to play the game. But you see, I’m a highly trained Forensic Hair Scientist (as far as I can tell, the only one in the world). And I never lose at the game of Hair Cover-Ups. I am also excellent at Monopoly.
The words hair transplant, hair system, rogaine, propecia, laser light therapy, alien intervention, have all been tossed around. But I’m quite sure I know what you’re up to.
With the same fortitude that propelled you to a no-holds-barred world-renown physician, you’ve become a master hair loss concealer.
And you’ve got great hair for it. Grey hair tends to look and actually grow denser. This has helped your cause. Growing a beard now and then, is a wonderful detractor from your head hair. A slight forward combing of your temple hair and a messy style leads to a wonderful illusion of hair.
However, you and I know that there is no privacy for us celebrities. And you’ve been caught in the wind a few times, caught without coverup.
Honestly, you probably don’t care. Most celebrities take a lot of time getting their hair just perfect. I’ve climbed a few trees in my life, if you know what I mean.
But I think it’s cool that you occasionally go out free of coverup. And why shouldn’t you? You’re one of the most accomplished medical detectives this side of the Rio Grande. You’ve earned it.
Hugh Laurie, this is your official invitation to join the most exclusive secret society north of Manassas.
The Society Of Follicularly Challenged Males cordially invites you to join the club. Membership fees are based on income. Please send me a check for $122,588.00.
I look forward to seeing you at our monthly meeting. It’s held in a little city just south of Helsinki.