Enrique Iglesias, you have it all. You grew up wealthy, you are darn good looking, you’ve got an awesome accent, and a sexy girlfriend (I actually don’t know if you’re still dating Anna Kournikova – I won’t blame you if you’ve moved on. Temptation is a nasty mistress, am I right?). Long boring story short, Enrique you have everything except perfect hair.
I’m surprised your publicist never encouraged you to look into a hair transplant. From what I can tell, it doesn’t look like you got one. It’s pretty obvious there is some recession. You always wear a hat, your hair is almost always combed forward. It looks good, don’t get me wrong. But my heightened senses and years of obsessive training tell me that something is up. Your dad is bald and it’s likely that hair loss will continue to plague you. I feel for you actually. Well not that much. I would rather be you than feel sorry for you. Plus, Propecia will halt your hair loss and it seems that it may have already worked it’s magic. But you are in the public eye and it’s really not cool to be losing your hair. Was Jude Law really the sexiest man alive? We all know that was a scam.
Listen, Enrique, puedo hablar poco espanol. Entiende? In Spanish that means, ‘Hey dude, I’m like you. We are cool, attractive guys and the world is our muffin.’ To elaborate, I think you should consider doing something. You can sing like a bluebird and you’ve got the face of a handsome lady. Don’t let it go to waste. Without hair that face will not be so perfectly framed. Plus you’re pretty rich, so go get some work done.
Here are some tips (keep in mind these are tips for the filthy rich, like Enrique Iglesias):
- Go to a top hair transplant surgeon. Hit me up and I’ll provide you with a list.
- Have about 500 to 1000 FUE’s done per session, densely packed in a small area just in front of your receding temples.
- Keep your hair long. This will probably cost more since it’s harder to extract hairs without shaving.
- Continue the forward comb over until all the redness is gone.
- Give those babies about a full year to grow in.
- Repeat until you get the necessary density. I would shoot for the moon on density. Why not? You deserve it.
- Then start combing that hair back and show the world your beautiful new hairline.
- Oh, and send me a check for about $50k. Write ‘Hair loss scientist consultation fee,’ in the memo area.
Adios Enrique. Buenos Suerte mi amigo caliente. That means don’t forget number 8 on the list.