Chris you’re a genius. You did what most young celebrities do these days. You tackled your hair loss when it first started. How do I know this? I don’t. But I like to write posts like these about celebrities and their hair. And years ago I noticed your hair was getting a little thin up front.
Yep. It happens to the best of us. And it appeared to be happening to you.
After years of researching and experimenting, I’ve become quite adept at noticing a lack of follicular fortitude. My experimenting consisted of mixing a bunch of chemicals, oils, etc. together and rubbing them on to my scalp, standing on my head, and giving up masturbation for an entire month. That last experiment only lasted 2 days so don’t rule that out as a hair loss cure. If anyone has lasted an entire month I’d be very interested in reading over your results.
I have to say, I’m not sure what you had done, if anything. I do know that it’s unlikely for hair to regrow on it’s own (unless the cause of your hair loss was a side-effect of a medication that has since been stopped). So that leaves us with a few options.
- Propecia and/or Rogaine
- Hair Transplant (wink)
- Cover Up (i.e. DermMatch, Toppik, etc.)
Chris, as you read over the list of options above, wink if one of them is right. Video tape the wink and send it to me. That way, only I’ll know what you did. And I won’t share that wink with anyone else. The other option, which I would prefer, is that you send me a rose. I’ll peel off each petal one by one (in the style of ‘she loves me, she loves me not’). Then when I get to the last petal, you’ll have written me a note:
‘Dan, your post made my day. This rose signifies my thanks. I had _____ done to my hair. Your keen eye caught me. Keep up the good work old pal.’
If that doesn’t fit on the rose, I’ll just figure you’d like me to be the next Bachelor and I’ll swing by to start filming.
Anyway Chris Harrison, you’ve done a good thing and tackled your hair loss at an early stage. An hour FUE (Follicular Unit Extraction) session with Dr. Alvi Armani would fill in those temples nicely. And you’d only have to wear a hat for a few weeks. Then the following year, another hour long session to thicken things up a bit and keep up with any additional hair loss. A daily dose of Propecia works wonder for preventing further hair loss.
I still suspect limiting masturbatory activities could play a role here. If that’s what you’re up to then you’ll probably never read this. The internet is not a good place to be when you’re trying to stay away from ‘carnal exercises.’
Really though, if you’d like me to be the next Bachelor, just send me a rose. No need for a phone call or long-winded email. I’ll be there with my Speedo in hand.
Photo Credits: Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com, Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com, Music4mix / Shutterstock.com