Charlie Sheen’s ‘Not-So-Subtle’ Hair Piece

Charlie Sheen, what a life you’ve lived. Frankly, it’s amazing you’re still alive. Coke, meth, booze, and maybe a little chiba. Prostitutes, threesomes, and probably a transsexual or two. Ah, the good life.

Well Mr. Sheen, I can’t say that I blame you. You grew up rich and good looking with a god-given gift for acting. The world was your cashew. Then you started to lose your hair.

You turned to drugs and the company of midget prostitutes to hide the pain of your hair loss. I’ve never admitted this, but when I went through my hair loss depression, I may have Googled ‘midget prostitute’ once or twice. Losing hair really does a number on us.

I’m stuck in my house for the next week or two and then I’ll be wearing a hat for about 2 months. I had my second hair transplant procedure just two days ago. Today, my head looks like a giant torsed testicle. And I really can’t go outside without scaring the neighbor kids.

I’ve known for a while that you wear a hair system (hair piece for the layman). It’s quite obvious to my trained eye. On a side note, one of my eyes is almost completely swollen shut. The price we pay for beauty.

Charlie Sheen's hairpieceFor me, Charlie Sheen, there isn’t much of a mystery to your hair. Your hair piece is very dark, too thick in the front, and under certain light has a reddish tint to it. This is a dead give away for a hair piece. I have no problem with anyone who chooses to wear a wig. I’ve tried one before.

I saw you out recently without your hair piece. Most men keep a shaved head under their hair piece which makes gluing the system to your head easier and keeps everything a bit cleaner. And now that you’re not on ‘Two And A Half Men’, I suspect you may be considering a transplant.

Going out without your wig makes me believe you’ve come to terms with your hair loss. I think you’d be a great candidate for a transplant. You’ve got dark, thick hair and mostly temporal recession. At your age, you probably won’t see much more hair loss. You’d have a spectacular result.

Well that’s all I have to say for today. My other eye is now almost completely swollen shut and I’m writing this nearly blind. I’ll be sure to send you some pictures of my pre and post transplant results. They should be fantastic. Until then, please feel free to send me any web-footed prostitutes you ‘may’ know. This phase is pretty tough and a good web-footed prostitute might cheer me up.

 

Photo Credits: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com, cinemafestival / Shutterstock.com


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